Friday, August 26, 2011

Cross road...

I was like wandering around a cross road these few days... Ever since the result released, I've not been in a good state. Though I didn't show them my actual feeling, but I know that deep inside my heart I'm very moody and sad~

From time to time, whenever I started to talk about this topic with another person, I started to feel the pain and sadness. People can't tell what I'm feeling now, but I can hide what I'm feeling now. I know I'm very moody......
Whenever I started to get myself into something to do, I would realised that I'm paying full attention at the same time moody. I can get very grumpy easily and upset. People around me tried to advice me to let go, to work harder this sem and even to pray hard for a better result. Nevertheless, sometimes it's easier to say than to do!!! I don't have the confidence at all!!! I'm totally lack of confidence now...!!!

I planned to have a study group with my friends who are also self studying this round. However, I find them quite reluctant to have study group. May be it's due to the coming holidays. They are in the mode of playing rather than studying. Well, I don't know them. Worst come to worst, I'll have it with another friends coming all the way from Sibu just for the sake of this group study idea!!!
I don't mind in fact...I can always study alone. Just that I thought that it's better to study together and explore together rather than I study here, you study there. Then, when got something not clear, come to me again. If I didn't study that part yet, how am I gonna answer?!

I just don't understand least give me some better excuse ma~ Planned to go cafe area, said spend money, would not be able to concentrate; Planned to go house, said too far or I don't know where. Complain here complain there, end up said not gonna join the group. Giving lame excuses some more. Okay, may be I'm just being moody here, that's why I got angry of them now~

Speechless with their attitude!!! Don't want to fail, please do something le~ =.=|||

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